There are three kinds of people
1. Dependent
2. Independent
3. Interdependent
The dependent people need others to get what they want. This is the lowest level and we all start from here. Those who stagnate at this level derive their sense of self-worth from the opinions of others and do not think for themselves. They allow others to take risks on their behalf and refrain from making important decisions in their lives. These individuals can be identified by their language, which often includes phrases such as “I have a problem. What are you going to do about it?” Their attitude is one of “you” – you pay for me, teach me, decide for me, help me, and take responsibility for me. Ignorance leads to dependence. When we do not know, we end up relying on those who know. You cannot think about what you do not know. You cannot do what you have not first thought about. The first step out of dependence is to seek knowledge and understanding. To work hard in building your thoughts and thinking capabilities that you may build character, be accountable and plan for the future[1].
Independent individuals exhibit self-sufficiency and possess the necessary drive to achieve their goals. They are self-motivated, inner-directed, and need no external push to pursue their objectives. Such individuals possess an inner emotional strength, are accountable and responsible for their actions and decisions, maintain a clear vision of their future, execute their plans with precision, and exhibit courage in making bold moves. Further, they remain dedicated to their goals, thereby staying the course until they achieve success. One can discern independent individuals by the language they employ, often punctuated with expressions such as “I’ve got a problem, and I intend to address it.” Their disposition is characterized by a strong sense of personal responsibility. People who stagnate at this level end up being mediocre or selfish and arrogant. They do not live up to their full potential and are not able to lead transformations. While it is better than being dependent, it is not the best paradigm[2, 3].
You can only become interdependent once you have achieved independence. Interdependent individuals place value on cooperation and collaboration with others to achieve mutual goals. This mindset recognizes that collective efforts can produce far greater results compared to individual efforts. The hallmark of interdependent people is their use of “we” language. In addressing a problem, they tend to say “we have a problem” rather than “I have a problem.” This paradigm is indicative of a mature level of thinking, often exhibited by exceptional leaders. They are active listeners, adept at critical thinking, and seek advice from others. Furthermore, they exhibit an abundance mentality, possess a servant’s heart, exhibit humility and possess emotional intelligence[4, 5].
1. Covey, S.R., The 7 habits of highly effective people. 2020: Simon & Schuster.
2. Reindal, S.M.J.D. and Society, Independence, dependence, interdependence: Some reflections on the subject and personal autonomy. 1999. 14(3): p. 353-367.
3. Griffiths, M. and R. Smith, Standing Alone: Dependence, Independence, and Interdependence in the Practice of Education. 1989.
4. Jenkins, S.J.I.J.o.S.S. and Coaching, John R. wooden, Stephen R. covey and servant leadership. 2014. 9(1): p. 1-24.
5. Spencer, H.J.W.r., The social organism. 1860. 73(143): p. 90-121.